Read Between the Lines

Listen carefully the next time someone makes a joke or a declarative statement about you. You'll find out if that person thinks you are a piece of sh$t or if they respect you.

O.K. You know there is an anecdote to this entry or else I wouldn't have posted it. Lol.

So, I get an IM from a woman that I was interested in the other night and she's like "Yo. What's up Carlton?" Needless to say, I didn't think it was funny. So, I asked her if she was drinking because she got my name wrong. She then goes on the defensive and says I need to relax...blah...blah...blah. I stopped replying to her IM after that.

Her comment sent me down memory lane of things people have said to me that let me know what they really felt about me. In no particular order, here are some of the most infamous ones and I'm not revealing the gender, name or location of the guilty parties.

1. "Why dont you have a nickname on this blog spchrist?" How about darkie C.


2. "First off, I didn't stand you up. I told you I had some things I had to do that weekend. That was a holiday weekend. I see how it is. You act like I did that on purpose. I know its because of the bet with your sister. Its cool though! You're going to throw away our friendship away like that?"

3. "I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner, I've been a little occupied the past couple of days. She forwarded me your e-mail, and I wanted you to know that I did return your call on Friday, it rang out and I didn't leave a message. As for your e-mailing me on Thursday and my non-response, we spoke shortly after you sent the email and we discussed it and made tentative plans, so I didn't see the need to write back. Overall, I'm glad we've gotten the opportunity to meet and get to know one another better."

4. "I forwarded your email to her. Just for future reference, I don't really like to be in the middle of other folk's affairs so, in the future, if you find that you have any other issues with her, I'd appreciate it if you didn't put me in the middle."

5. a) Ummm yes I changed my email. b) well usually I don't respond to emails until Monday afternoon (meaning anything sent from Friday-Monday morning to my personal account does not get a response until the latter part of Monday). c) Yes I am a woman and what difference does it make where i forward MY e-mails? d) Do you have some sort of a beef with the folks over there or just him b/c that is the impression I am getting? e) As far as red flags go - I am spotting more from your end than any other.

6. "I was not aware there were major strikes against me. If I had been aware that I was on the 'watch out' list and that people had been complaining about me privately I would have been in a position to address my 'behavior'.

7. "Whatever. You have had a problem with me from day one for whatever reason. Jealousy, I suspect and good luck with that career as a high school sports writer."

8. "Man, you have a fist to the face coming dawg for real ... don't f$ck with me. I'll take one for the team to knock your little Jamaican ass out, do you understand that?"