Two locations, which I've always believed were good for single black men, Washington, D.C. and Atlanta, appear as some of the "it" spots to find single women on Richard Florida's Singles Map of America map. The other "it" spots to find single women are the NYC area, Philadelphia, Memphis and Miami.
I haven't lived in Memphis, Miami or Atlanta, so I can't speak on it with any experience. I have lived in upstate New York and traveled to NYC, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. enough to get a read on those places.
Now, the complaints that I've heard from my single female friends in NYC, Philly and D.C. is that because there is a perception that there are more women than men, the men use this to their advantage. The men play more games. The men don't want to commit to one woman. The men think less about marriage and kids. Blah...Blah...Blah...#$%^&* blah.
That's only the surface complaints that I get.
Now speaking for myself and all my college-educated, single, black male professional friends with no kids and no drama in our lives, the aforementioned complaints from my single female friends are unfounded. Just the opposite is true for myself and all my male friends. We want all the things that the ladies want and probably even more than the women. What I find is that the women are more impatient in these places where there are more single women than single men.
Which begged me to ask each female friend who the hell are they dating? and why?
Seriously, if you are to believe there is a "shortage" of eligible bachelors in the area then you have to be more selective on who you date. I'm not talking about breaking out a laundry lists of qualifications (women are famous for checklists) and putting an "x" in certain categories. That will not get you a man, it will get you a robot pretending to be a man. There are so many qualities in a person that are not measured by any quantitative amount.
For example, does that person add to your life? On your worst day, how does that person try to comfort you? Is this person responsible about paying bills/meeting deadlines? If you want children, do you think that person will be a good parent? Does that person share the same values about raising kids? Etc........
Those are the type of questions you should ask yourself and make sure you have the answers for each question.
5 comments:
I agree. It even starts at my age. Women have a list of qualities that I do not fit at all. Yet I believe I am a good person. I never hear women ask about "quality of life" and how someone adds to that.
I would think as you get older you tend to make better decisions...or at least hope so.
You'd be surprised to find the quality of dude women are into and why, which are usually some of the dumbest reasons known to mankind. I guess guys like us are single BECAUSE we're college-educated and drama free, like it's a deterrent to most females.
lol @ chris...
From my friend B.C...who doesn't have a blogger account.
"In this blog post, you spoke about how single women in DC, Philly, NYC -- big cities, basically, need to more selective in the dating process and that there are plenty of "single, eligble bachelors who want the same things "we" do" and that if we were better "pickers' of the lot, then ultimately, I conclude "from your logic" that we'd be in happier relationships with better picks. I do agree. I suppose the women's "gripes" about unqualified dudes aren't unfounded -- the dudes they dated were probably jerks in some form or fashion, yet, if they were more selective in who they dated, they could have anticipated the foolishness or avoided it all together. However, in some instance, I believe you just "give the dude a chance" and some personality conflict or some "philosophy" that one person believed (we are exclusively seeing each other -- yet one person is still playing the field) didn't hold water and someone got busted --- trust is ruined -- relationship over... new games begin. Sometimes, I think women and men -- are just full of s---. We kid ourselves into believing we want something but when it's there... we aren't interested... the thrill of the chase is gone... so I guess we just have to mature, be honest with ourselves and "FORGIVE" people.... then the world would be a better place.
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