The Pledge of a Lifetime...(Part 4)

So, I think I have a stalker.

These situations always start off so innocently.

I met her back in the summer at a park. I was playing basketball with friends and she was there just sitting down on a bench. When I noticed she was watching me play, I made sure I put in extra effort on the court. After the games were over, I went over and talked to her for a little bit. We hit it off and exchanged numbers.

A short time later, we went out on ONE date. We went bowling. She sucked. I was bored. Needless to say, the fireworks fizzled after the bowling outing. By this time, we were already facebook friends and talked on the phone regularly, so I didn't see the need to blow her off completely. So, I figured she would make a decent friend.

Things started to take a turn for the worse when she "tried" to hijack my birthday party in August. Her birthday was around the same time of my birthday and I invited her to my party. She sent an e-mail to all my friends (reminder to blind carbon copy future birthday party e-mails to my friends) talking about it was her birthday too and she was "entitled to free drinks."

OH HELL NO!


Umm...Kanye peformed a song about women like her and the word that comes to mind starts with "gold" and ends with "digger." I think you can put the syallables together.

I should have put her in check then but I let it slide. It is standard operating procedure that the only person who is entitled to free drinks is the person whose party it is and that would have been me. If she had kept her mouth shut and never sent the e-mail I would have bought her a drink and probably gotten one of my male friends to get her one too. She got nothing from me or any of my male friends that night.

Umm...Kanye peformed a song about women like her and the word that comes to mind starts with "gold" and ends with "digger." I think you can put the syallables together.

Fast forward to this Fall. She declares on a message board that we both contribute too that casual dating to her equals casual sex. (scratches head...I'm going to let that one marinate for a second). Even when she is corrected by several people, including myself, that casual dating and casual sex are two different things, she stands by her original comment. Hmm.

And of course, the academy award for gold digger in a leading role goes to her too. On this same message board, she declares that her p - - - y is her most prized possession. (Raises right hand). No lie. I nearly fell out my chair from laughing so hard. When she is corrected, yet again, that her heart should be her most prized possession, she stands by her original comment. Hmm.

Umm...Kanye peformed a song about women like her and the word that comes to mind starts with "gold" and ends with "digger." I think you can put the syallables together.

At this point, I figured she's a lost cause that isn't even worth saving any more. I gradually reduce my interaction with her. She starts to notice this. She realizes that I don't respond all the time to her facebook IMs and don't always return her calls right away. She proceeds to pick fights with me on the same message board over everything that I post.

I'm like woman can I frigging live?

I post. She responds. It is a never ending cycle. She describes herself as crazy sometimes and I'm really starting to believe her. When I don't respond to her on the message board, she IMs me on facebook to egg me on. 85 percent of the time, I just ignore her. 15 percent of the time, I'll entertain her for a few minutes and then I'm done with it. Apparently, she's not. She'll take a message board beef to the Facebook IMs and when I ignore her on Facebook, she proceeds to call me to taunt me. The actions I've described are only the tip of the iceberg...there is plenty more that I could share.

Her favorite taunting line is to call me a loser or to say that I'm whack.

And you wonder why I'm choosing to be single right now?

I know what you are thinking. Why haven't you cut this chick loose and be done with her once and for all. We have mutual friends and I don't want to start World War III and force our mutual friends to pick sides. So, I'm going to go with the full-time silent treatment and stop responding to her on the message board, on Facebook and stop taking her calls. The only time I will respond to her from now on is in a group setting while out with our mutual friends.

I've wasted enough brain cells trying to figure out who she is...when...umm...Kanye peformed a song about women like her and the word that comes to mind starts with "gold" and ends with "digger." I think you can put the syallables together.


Three weeks down...only 56 more weeks to go.