Ask spchrist...

So, the following passage was posted on a message board by a male that goes by the name "red."

"I'm about to turn 30. i never had a date, kissed, got number.... i am a virgin. i have been approaching girls since i was 18. i was born and raised in nj. i started a journal when i turned 26 to see what am i doing wrong. at the end of the year i had approaching over 600 girls (from 2006-2007),asked them out. i only got one number from all those approaches, which turned out to be for blockbuster. i get looks all the time from girls, i get smiles, there girlfriends will tell me my friend likes you. i approach and than nothing happens. i get the line i have a boyfriend all the time. i dont know if its new jersey or me.on a night out, my dress style is: blazer, dress shirt, sand blasted jeans, kenneth cole shoes when i go out.i am not picky. my friends are in the same boat. well they are not virgins except me. any tips would be appreciated."

My detailed response to him was this:

Umm...I don't even know where to start.

So...you're 30...never had a date, got kissed or got a REAL number and to top it all off you are a virgin.

(Let's bow our heads and have a moment of silence).

(You can raise your head now)

It sounds like your game is in need of a makeover.

First of all, STOP APPROACHING THAT MANY WOMEN. 600 in one year? That is WAY TOO MANY like 576 too many. Try going after one woman per month. Get some success first and then you can get greedy by going after two or more per month.

It sounds like you are going after every woman in the tri-state area. I compare that to the guy in the club that tries to dance with EVERY WOMAN in the club. In the club, women watch your every movement and if they've seen you get shot down by like 10 other women before you approach them, she's more than likely going to turn you down too.

The second thing you have to learn is that some women aren't in your league and you have to pass on them. It is no shame in admitting that some women are not reachable...go after the ones that are reachable.

The third thing you have to learn is you must listen to the women that you are approaching. Eventually, she will tell you what she's all about if you ask the right questions.

The fourth thing...before I forget, always ask for a woman's mobile phone number (no need to stress the home phone number...if she likes you...she'll eventually give you her home number, if she has one) and once you get the mobile number call it from your phone right while she's standing there. If her phone doesn't ring, you've got a fake number and you know "she's just not that into you" but just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

The fifth thing...if what you say is indeed true, "you're getting looks all the time, smiles all the times, women's friends are telling you their friend likes you and nothing is happening for you. IT IS SOMETHING YOU ARE SAYING OR DOING WHEN YOU APPROACH THESE WOMEN. Without seeing or hearing you in action, I can't give you a definitive answer on that aspect. I will say this...women love men with confidence...women love men that take charge of a situation....women love men that makes them the center of attention. It never....ever....fails.

The sixth thing...I don't think it is your wardrobe based on your description...sounds like it is your mental and verbal game that need work. I hope this was helpful.