Who wants to be a millionaire?
Scratch that, who wants to be a billionaire?
I have the answer to both questions.
The person that writes a step-by-step book on how to understand women will become an instant billionaire because every man in the world will buy this book.
I have 26 years of post womb experience and to this day I still can't understand women.
Here are some recent short takes:
A) I sent out an e-mail to the young black journalist listserve about my pending visiting to New York City. I get an e-mail reply from a young woman that works in NYC and she says "hey. I should be available that day after 5ish. is that too late?" My reply "I don't think so, call me on my cell." I gave her my cell phone number on Thursday night in that reply e-mail and I figured that she would call if she was free and still wanted to chill. Let's fast forward to Monday. I noticed that I hadn't heard from Ms. NYC and it is about 2 p.m. I call Ms. NYC's work number and leave a voicemail. I proceeded with the rest of my business in NYC. I conclude my business trip to NYC around 5 p.m. and I call one more time and get her work voicemail again. I buy my ticket for the New Jersey Transit commuter rail and get home in time to watch Monday Night Football. On Tuesday morning, I get an e-mail from Ms. NYC,
"many apologies for not calling you back while you were in the city. i left work early for a dentist appointment and completely forgot about our tentative plans. i got your message this morning. i owe you a drink next time you're here."
Damn homey!
My immediate reply to her, "Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Her immediate reply back to me, "Oh no! i can't believe you booed me. i've NEVER been booed before...but i guess i had it coming. where in new jersey do u work/live? how often do u get to the city."
In my final reply to Ms. NYC, I told her what town I live in and that I come to NYC once a month and for good measure I gave her another round of booooooooooooooooooooooooooooos!
I told her that a returned phone call would defuse the situation and we'll see if Alexander Graham Bell's invention is also Ms. NYC's best friend.
B) So, my ex-girlfriend reads and sometimes responds to the blog (anonymously of course). She saw my entry "http://spchrist.blogspot.com/2005/11/my-roadtrip-with-someone-famous.html and she camouflaged her jealously/curiosity in an e-mail about an unrelated matter. I thought it was a joke until she called me recently and point blank asked..."so who is she?"
Damn homey!
Not that I really needed to answer her, but I told her that "Kyla Pratt's look-a-like is just a friend that I was helping move." She says, "hmmmmmmmmm," and proceeds to another topic and just before I hang up with her, the ex-girlfriend drops the "who is she?" line again. This repetitive line of questioning must be something women adopted out of some silly magazine article. The repetitive interrogation tactic doesn't work on me and as ESPN's Stuart Scott says "I'm as cool as the other side of the pillow." Quite frankly, any man that cracks under this primitive form of pressure should have his "playa card" revoked.
Permanently!
8 comments:
Well... since women don't understand themselves anymore than men do, then no one will be able to write that book. Although if a man can get RICH off of telling women "He's Just Not That Into You," then I might need to get up on this book idea.
LoL I have one thing to say about the book which gives men the deal on women, it better be an E-book which can be reuploaded, redownloaed, and permanently integrated into systems, cause all women are not the same, and they asses do change.
LoL damn your ex reminds us that it's sometimes hard as hell to move on. But as Fat Joe says, "J.O.S.E." Jealous Ones Still Envy.
Pimpinnnn, pimpin, pimpin...seriously, I'm with you on that book. I said I was going to write a Male version of that book Oprah loves, I was going to call it "I just want to be friends," but I have more research to do (or be put through) before I let the cat out of the bag.
I understand your ex's jealousy because even if you're the one who initiates the breakup you still never want the person you're leaving to fully get over you. Somewhere inside,as unfair as it may be,there's a small wish that your ex is missing you and what was once shared.
BUT for your ex to read your blog and ask point blank, 'so who is she?' is definitely overstepping ex status. I mean she can be curious and ask whatever she wants but you have no obligation to tell her about any of your goings ons.
Is he back? Does this signal a return to what a blog should look like? We'll have to wait and see...
Honestly, you, Mr. Christie, should never clown somebody for not doing what they claimed they'd be doing...
Turkey day is getting closer and closer... and I'll even have money that week (OT, not T.O., is a goot friend of mine...)
lol@ "J.O.S.E."...cnel...your a fool.
lol@mdubb...you got jokes about the blog...I've been busy with my real job.
lol@con 1...damn you know how to blow a person's cover.
lol@queencity...that was an interesting point-of-view
I don't know you like that. But I have to say, I'm laughing my ass off everytime you put someone you know on blast.
I try to do it in a tasteful but funny way...
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