Thursday, November 17, 2005

Dating 202/Womenology 202

The prerequisite for this posting is reading

Dating 101

http://spchrist.blogspot.com/2005/10/dating-101.html

and

Womenology 101

http://spchrist.blogspot.com/2005/11/womenology-101.html

Once you've done that, you'll digest Dating 202/Womenology 202...a lot easier.

I found this on a message board....

Success in dating often has less to do with what you say, and more to do with your nonverbal sexual cues. You see, the key to dating women is to understand where feelings of lust, desire and attraction originate in the female brain.

Here's a breakdown to help you understand the female psyche a little better.

A woman's brain has several sections.

The first, most primal part of her brain is the brain stem, which controls various processes such as breathing, heartbeat and the fight or flight response.

The second part of the brain, wrapped around the basic brain stem and having evolved later, is the limbic brain. Although it sounds very technical, the limbic brain is simply responsible for a woman's core emotional experiences including lust, desire and attraction. And that's what men are interested in. Lacking language, the limbic brain is both impulsive and instinctual. It's sometimes called the pleasure center because sexual stimuli that women experience pass directly to it.

The newest part of the brain, the neo-cortex, is considered the rational brain that provides logic and thought, allowing for speaking, planning and critical judgment. If you tell a woman, "Give me your number," or, "I like you," or, "Let's have sex," you're triggering the rational neo-cortex which consciously blocks your commands and says, "No." But if you bypass her neo-cortex "guardian" altogether and instead stimulate a woman's limbic brain, you're directly communicating to where her feelings of lust and mating begin.

So how exactly do you tap into this unlimited power?

You do so through your nonverbal sexual cues.

1- The Resonant Voice: How you say your words is more important than the actual words themselves. How you say your words is what will bypass a woman's critical mind and directly stimulate her limbic brain into feeling attraction -- or not. You want your voice to sound rich and full, soothing and warm -- in other words, resonant. You don't want to sound whispery and raspy, nasal and thin, or whiny and grating. A deeply resonant voice spoken with a slow, sexy tempo and volume is sexually hypnotic. With a sexy voice, you can grab a woman's attention in an instant, relax her, make her feel good, and do it all with an aura of confidence and authority.

2- The Warm Smile: The reason to smile is simple. A smile shows that you're an open, friendly and relaxed person. A smile says without words, "I'm in a good mood. I'm enjoying myself. Being around me makes others feel good too because my good mood is so infectious." Ever notice how much more friendly and inviting a smiling woman is? A woman with a smile on her face is more approachable than a woman with a frown. Her smile tells you that she's a friendly person. And smiling is contagious. People have a natural reaction to smile when they see yours, making them feel open, friendly and relaxed on the inside. And it doesn't matter whether you have a perfect smile or not. Scientific studies show that women respond to the act of your smile rather than how perfect it is or white your teeth are. The act of smiling is what shows to others that you're friendly, open and confident. The act of smiling is what triggers the good feelings in women.

3- Princely Posture: Good body language and posture communicates strength, comfort and sexiness while poor body language and posture communicates nervous energy and lack of confidence. Again, your body language and posture is not something that women will process consciously. Their limbic brain is either turned on and attracted, or turned off. So no matter whom you are, no matter what your position in life, no matter what kind of women you're interested in, you'll need to master control over your own body to sexually attract women. The first step toward good body language is to move deliberately and in a controlled fashion, with purpose. Unnecessary movements come across to women as nervous tics. Generally you want to keep an open posture about you. Having an open posture -- uncrossing your arms, keeping your hands apart and keeping an open stance with your legs -- shows that you're relaxed, receptive and friendly, and visually sends sexual cues directly to a woman's limbic brain. Your head, your shoulders, hips, knees, and ankles should be in a straight, vertical line, not hunched over, and you should stand with your weight evenly distributed between both feet, not slouching over on the right or left. Keeping an open, clean body posture in such a way and moving with purpose will attract women on a level beyond their control.

4- Sexy Scent: Study after study has demonstrated that a woman's sense of smell is much more powerful than a man's. In fact, with certain kinds of scents, a woman's sense of smell is up to 100 times more powerful than a man's. Women can even detect mild body odor from over three feet away. And there's a direct connection from a woman's olfactory glands to her limbic brain -- so your scent is either working for you or against you. Fortunately, since women can pick up on body odor so easily, you can exploit that limbic brain of theirs and smell good to turn them on sexually. That's why, not only do you want to be clean and fresh, but you'll want to wear cologne on a regular basis to create attraction in women.

5- Powerful Eye Contact: Eye contact is one of your most powerful tools. Your eyes can do far more talking than your words. They can make a woman feel uneasy and excited, and women use it as a huge measure of your self-confidence. During a conversation with a woman, don't dart your eyes or look away too much, as it makes you look uncomfortable and nervous. Linger longer on her eyes than you would normally, almost as if your eyes stick to hers like soft glue. This kind of strong, long-lasting eye contact releases phenylethylamine (PEA), a chemical that accelerates attraction, particularly in women. Some call this the copulatory gaze because people who love each other not only make much more eye contact while talking, but they're also more hesitant to take their eyes off each other, even after they finish speaking. And when you do look away, look away reluctantly. Drag your eyes away slowly, as though they're stuck with soft glue.

Any questions?

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm SChrist are we moving from Sports to Health and Science? Hmmm. Limbic brain...neo-cortex.....HaHa....ummm had me lookin for a bio-book. Being young and single I am the constant recipient of dating tips and insight on the female Psyche. This was however interesting, you offered some interesting points. What it all boiled down to in my mind is a reminder that image and identity is important. Got to look good, smell good, sound good, and be good at everything. Aiight so now I know, I'll pulling out the notebook to take down some notes. LoL

POPS said...

probably your best post ever

Jameil said...

Fabulous. Very interesting that a man would finally realize all of this. And now for a woman's perspective... 1) YES!, 2) yes, but not too many teeth, 3) YES! And I'm sick of saying this!, 4) I actually like the smell of soap better. FYI b/c we can smell so well, realize cologne is WAY stronger than perfume. PLEASE no more than 3 squirts. A dude w/too much cologne is such a turn off. 5) YES!

ChezNiki said...

Two and Five-Sound like stalker instruction,"uneasy and excited" are mutually exclusive
One-Your voice is either "rich and full"or its not. You cant force it.
Three-Posture/Swagger is extremely important. Young dudes learn it from the older men in their lives
Four-BATHING is very important, cologne should be used sparingly on CLEAN body parts.
There is also the LeftBrain analysis that goes on in a woman's head everytime she meets a man. This is where she weighs her options for her life...or for that night...and may decide to veto all the bullsh*t above and tell the Brother 'No' anyway...LOL

Darren Sands said...

Dr. Christie, are you available during your office hours next week? There are some things that we'll be needing to discuss, especially as the holiday season is fast approaching, and the weather is getting colder. Topics of discussion may include, but is not limited to, disguising flirting technique, how to pretend you know about wine in less than an hour, and the art of complimenting among other topics.

Erin E. said...

That was some interesting info and mostly true...but I do have to say for #2, a warm smile is nice but a jacked up grill can just throw everything else off..

Chris said...

No questions, just a feeling that I could only pull off the good smell.

Jadedpen said...

Move over Dr. Joyce Brothers we got a new love doctor! Be advised I took excelent notes during this class and will be putting them into practice on tomorrow night.

T Dot said...

Why do I have the feeling that you actually did some serious research for this post like you were really writing a dissertation? Regardless, good info, good post. And I fully support cleanliness - like Money Mike said, guys should not smell like they've been working all day AND Drakkar.

My Daily Struggles said...

I'm glad I'm asexual and celibate. It uncomplicates life.

Mahogany Elle said...

Good post... So is Oprah going to ask you for a guest appearance now? Lol. Most of this is true, but there are two exceptions where it's better for a guy not to smile (A: if his teeth are battling to be the leader and B: if they are a shade of goldenrod. Lol) Good post though :)

Elle Willa said...

um true..but after all that. You can STILL get it wrong. The man withouth teeth should disregard the smiling part.

Sherlon Christie said...

lol @ cnel...I've become an expert on womenology...trust me not easy to earn a PHD trying to figure out women.

lol @ pops...although we have a month to go...I agree this is the leading candidate for post of the year.

lol @ darren sands....my office hours are not posted but your know my e-mail and cell.

lol @ jadedpen...those texas girls better watch themselves.

lol @ maghony...Oprah can call my publicist if she wants an interview.