My roommate (update)

I almost witnessed a massacre.

Ya’ll remember I told you about my roommate Ray and his crazy habits…well…I forgot to tell you that the landlord and Ray have an ongoing war of words.

Well, this morning things got up-close-and personal.

Here’s some background. Ray is a pack rat. He recently rescued some green cast iron couch from someone’s trash and put the ugly ass thing on the front porch between two white plastic chairs. The paint is chipping on the thing and he put this duvet cover on it. The landlord came over this morning to do some work on the downstairs apartment and was like “Hells to the naw.” The landlord claims that Ray must have approval from him to put any furniture on the front porch. Ray says no and that is not in the lease.

So, Ray asked me to help him move the green paint-chipped cast iron couch to the back yard. Cool. We are walking out the front door as the landlord and his son are walking around the porch towards us.

Yikes!

After a five-minute back-and-forth shouting match on the furniture, the landlord throws fuel on the fire and says the light bill is ridiculous and that the lights are on 24/7/365 (that’s all Ray…he insists the lights stay on). Ray says he likes light.

The landlord hops onto the porch and gets right up in Ray’s face. Ray turns his head as to ignore the landlord. Ray beckons to me let’s pick up the couch. I’m frozen and standing in the doorway. Ray beckons to me again and this time I snap out of my trance. As we are about to pick up the couch, the landlord gets in the way and says he doesn’t want it in the backyard…he wants it gone.

Ray realizes that the landlord is going to impede our progress as long as the landlord is still here. Ray storms past the landlord and picks up one of the plastic chairs as if to use it as a weapon.

Yikes again!

I wrestled the chair out of Ray’s hands as the landlord son leaps on the porch to help his father. Now, Ray and the landlord are pointing fingers. The landlord threatens to take Ray to court…Ray says fine…draft me a letter.

I finally had seen and heard enough…and say “Gentlemen are we done?”

I go inside and as I’m walking up the stairs, I can hear them still shouting at each other.